By Alaina Coats
Published March 28, 2022
Will Smith has sat high on his throne in Hollywood, dazzling us for years with clean humor and wholesome entertainment. At best, he is known as Black royalty—the Fresh Prince. Peacemaker and superhero, dad and family man. Never did we expect to see him at his worst, in a fallen state, publicly dethroned for making the lowly decision to slap fellow comedian and actor Chris Rock across the face on stage, live at the Oscars.
By now we’ve all seen the footage of the violent, televised assault. We’ve analyzed it from every view, angle, and perspective. Now that the shock has settled in, it’s time to reflect.
How would you respond if you felt publicly offended or disrespected? Would you respond with violence or remain calm? How should Smith have responded to Rock? What could he have done differently?
Here are three power points of wisdom to help guide you in de-escalating conflict.
1. Never allow anyone to control your behavior.
In life, offenses come with the territory. So, get used to turning the other cheek, brushing the dirt off of your shoulders, and kicking the dirt off of your feet. Practicing self-control is never a weakness. It’s a gift of spiritual strength and emotional intelligence. Plotting revenge and seeking to “get ‘em back” or to “show ‘em who’s boss” is never a good look. Never delight in revenge and hateful behavior. Instead, show love and reasoning. Life’s offenses are lessons to learn from, not reasons to flex your muscles.
2. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict.
If you’re a perfect person, this advice is not for you. This is intended for those who can acknowledge their mistakes and own them. If you’re wrong, say so. Apologize and move on. Don’t justify your bad behavior with prideful excuses and finger-pointing. Take accountability for your actions.
3. Use your words.
Most conflicts are created out of people’s own insecurities and perceptions. Your thoughts about yourself and others can sometimes lead to misinterpretations and can dictate how you treat people. When rattled by someone’s behavior, ask questions to gain clarity. This is your chance to educate someone who may be negatively responding to you out of ignorance or fear.
